


running all over you

by morino



Series: [ verse ] - bend don't break (year 104) [2]
Category: springwave
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 08:52:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13655628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morino/pseuds/morino
Summary: Hiwan didn't really know if the text conversation had actually, physically happened. He still remembered the words Hyuntak had said to him before they'd stopped talking. About how he'd ignore him, no matter what pitiful look he gave or how ever many attempts he made to rekindle whatever they had.[ bend don't break (year 104, february);hiwan/hyuntak]





	1. Chapter 1

Hiwan didn't really know if the text conversation had actually, physically happened. He was a little knocked back by how it had seemingly jumped, how he'd gone from feeling like he was messaging someone he'd never spoken to before, to knowing full well that the man on the other end of the line was the same man who he'd developed strong feelings for over previous months. He still remembered the words Hyuntak had said to him before they'd stopped talking. About how he'd ignore him, no matter what pitiful look he gave or how ever many attempts he made to rekindle whatever they had. Hiwan has listened, he'd tried to get himself to a stage where he was no longer pining for Hyuntak. And the feelings became dormant, he began to settle on the thought that maybe Hyuntak just wouldn't feel the same as he did. That was okay - that was life. He couldn't force Hyuntak into anything, he certainly didn't want to try either.    
  
But Hyuntak had made the first move, Hyuntak missed him - like he missed Hyuntak. It was a real emotion that the other felt, it wasn't unrequited. Hiwan kept his gaze on the messages for a while, anchored to his seat on his bed, trying to figure out if the words were fake, tried to decipher some kind of hidden code that meant Hyuntak was playing him. He found none. And the knock at his door made him jump enough to drop his phone on the bed and abandon his search.    
  
He pushed himself away from the mattress, sliding his phone onto his bedside table as he made his way to the door. There's a beat before he opens it, unsure if it's Hyuntak or someone else that will greet him on the other side.

 

.

 

There are lines in the sand and they stand on opposite sides, no tide running in to wash it all away. Every day since - whatever their last meeting would be called, even without Hyuntak hurrying to draw over the line again, it remained. Without his help, it almost seemed to get deeper and more heavily draw the more days passed by.    
  
It surprised him, how much it stung. It wasn't supposed to be him that had trouble moving on from this, from them - he was the bad guy, it was easy for people like him. That's the way it was meant to work. But with every day that passed, the ache in his chest didn't disappear. It was muted by time and familiarity with the loss he had created in his life, by the mantras of  _ it's better this way _ and  _ there's nothing you can do about it anyway. _ But it never truly left.    
  
It curls itself into a ball in Hyuntak's throat when he knocks on the door, his entire body pulsing like it hasn't done in ages. Too long. It's been too long since he had been here. It was his fault, he knows that (would never forget that), but his heart is pulled by dread and hope and maybe he hasn't completely fucked this up. Maybe the sun will rise tomorrow and things with return to the way they were before he and Hiwan spoke like not a day had passed since things were okay, but Hyuntak wants the now so much he's willing to go back to what has become his routine if he can have Hiwan for just a small slice of time.    
  
It's his fault but even now Hyuntak wants. Greedy, always greedy.

The door opens and his next few steps are taken in a blur: he steps inside, past the threshold, and uses on hand to shut the door behind him. The sound as it closes ricochets off the walls but Hyuntak cannot being himself to feel sorry for it; he couldn't afford the opportunity to give Hiwan a moment to turn him back. He just needs the one moment, just the one. His arms are sneaking around his waist even before the bang has fully faded, ringing faintly in his ears as he presses his body against Hiwan's.    
  
He leans his body back on the closed door, pulling Hiwan with him, burying his face in the slope of his neck. It's a slightly awkward angle but Hyuntak arches his lower back away from the door and hopes that Hiwan will fill the space, their fronts pressed flatly together; having his arms there would alleviate any discomfort the rest of him might feel.

 

.

 

It happens fast - but so slowly at the same time. He doesn't really know what he should expect from Hyuntak, he stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. Before they stopped talking, when Hyuntak would do things and it would send Hiwan reeling and confused and almost angry. Hiwan grew to a stage where he just accepted it, he took the heartache because it meant he'd still have Hyuntak there whenever he saw fit. He didn't mind it that way, he didn't mind how they had things set up. He wants more - he's always wanted more. He's wanted to be selfish, but it was hard to do that without overstepping somewhere along the way.    
  
It's not just the warmth of Hyuntak that's instantly dizzying, it's the familiar scent of him that Hiwan dreamed about smelling on his bed sheets and his skin and his clothes, the scent he wanted to bottle because it felt safe, it felt familiar and it got him through tough times. Even during the time where Hyuntak was the issue, sometimes he'd wear something and it would cling to his skin and he'd feel good again. But washes faded it, and it was never as warm as it is now.    
  
His reaction instant, hands no longer just frozen by his side but sliding around Hyuntak's waist so he can press his body as close as possible. His eyes close, and his grip tightens while he tries to bury himself in the other male. He tilts his head just enough to rest against Hyuntak's, letting out a small sigh of relief. He doesn't have words - he doesn't know if they're needed right now.

 

.

 

His fingers curl, twisting Hiwan's shirt until it's dragged into his fists. The pull is tight - he can feel it from where his head rests on his shoulder, the material taut under his cheek.    
  
Closer, he wants to be closer. He never wants to leave.    
  
He had thought about this enough times to make himself angry and leave his eyes red, his head throbbing painfully - talking to Hiwan again, being back in his room. None of the scenarios he imagined looked anything like this. There were always more tears, more screaming, far less touch. There would be a space the size of galaxies between where they each stood. Or the lines in the sand would sink and morph into a bottomless canyon neither of them could cross.    
  
And maybe that was yet to come, but never in any of those situations did they start like this. They never broke apart to recreate the distance, never had they been so close. It makes his heart sing. It makes the guilt slam down and crush the organ under its heavy hand.    
  
"I missed you," he croaks, throat feeling as dry as his eyes. It's surprising. He was expecting himself to cry. There's still time for them to make an unwanted appearance, he knows, but he'll make the most out of their absence. He pushes past the thin disc in his throat trying to stop his words from reaching his tongue and breathes in Hiwan for the first time in too long before he continues, "So fucking much."

 

.

 

He'd tried not to dwell too much over scenarios of this happening, he'd tried so hard to do what Hyuntak had asked and just forget him - get over him. Stop letting him in, stop letting himself get hurt. Hiwan thought he was strong enough, he'd sometimes wondered how he'd react if this had happened. In his head, he always told Hyuntak thanks but no thanks. Always said that he was stronger and way past being hurt again. But then, when it came down to it, he was still as weak and needy for Hyuntak as he had been before they'd broken things off. Because he did love Hyuntak - he knew that now, he knew from the very way he felt physical pangs in his chest every time his heart would beat. Going a thousand times faster than it should, bordering on desperately unhealthy. In reality their entire relationship had been that at one point.    
  
He wasn't going to dwell.    
  
Instead he tightens his grip around Hyuntak's waist, keeps his eyes closed as he listens to the words that he's only dreamed of hearing. "I missed you too." Of course he did, it was silly to voice it. He'd been forced to have a break from the sheer lack of Hyuntak keeping him grounded. "I was so fucking lost, Hyuntak. I still am. I'm lost." His hand slip beneath Hyuntak's shirt, exhaling in relief at the feel of his skin beneath his fingertips. It's delicate, his desire to simply make sure Hyuntak was physically there. Hiwan bites down on the inside of his cheek, to stop himself speaking, to stop the flood of tears threatening to escape.

 

.

 

Lost. That was a word to describe how Hyuntak felt, too. Stupid was another. Because he spent some nights staring up at the ceiling from his bed, wondering if all of this could have been avoided if he had just said something - the  _ right _ thing. If he hadn't fucked up for the hundredth time.    
  
He lifts his head, letting out a soft sigh as he moved to rest their foreheads together. A moment passes in silence. Hyuntak loosens his grip on Hiwan's shirt but doesn't let go, keeps his eyes closed as he murmurs, "I'm sorry." The words pass his lips in a gentle stream. His voice is even, untouched by the nervous shake he expected it to have. He figures it must be the Hiwan in this equation making a change to this outcome, calming and reassuring with his presence alone.

 

.

 

It's okay. Don't worry. It's fine. Those are phrases that pass his mind and itch to be released. But he doesn't let them. It's not okay. It's not fine. None of this had been fine, and Hiwan tried so hard to carry the steely facade. He opens his eyes to look at the other once their foreheads are rested against each other. Hiwan inhales sharply, hands linking together against Hyuntak's back, still searching for that closeness, that skin on skin. "I forgive you." Are the words that fall from his lips, because it's more accurate. Of course Hiwan would forgive him, but voicing it made it seem just  _ more _ . "I forgive you." He repeats, breath catching in throat, causing a drag of pain. He has so much more he wants to say, but maybe now isn't the time to say it. "Please don't leave me again." Is the only thing he can muster as he closes his eyes again.

 

.

 

Hyuntak used to loathe the softer kisses Hiwan would leave on his lips, on his skin. Hated that he didn't know how to deal with the way they seemed to crawl under his skin, trying to peel away everything on his surface; forcibly tearing him open so Hiwan had something to see.    
  
But the idea of one now - in this moment - doesn't bother him, does not send him hurtling towards a series of questions he wouldn't want to see or answer. His hand leaving its place on the small of Hiwan's back to settle against his cheek. Gently, his thumb caresses a short curve over the swell of it and goes still.    
  
Hyuntak wonders if he's allowed to do this. He hopes he is.    
  
His hand moves away from Hiwan's cheek and goes down, down until his fingers are sitting lightly on the nape of his neck. A soft breath leaves Hyuntak's lips as his head tilts and he leans in, his mouth a firm but tender presence against Hiwan's. There's a low rumbling in the back of his throat at the contact, an airy moan flowing into the kiss; his contentment and his relief, his longing and the echoes of the word 'finally' ringing in his head.

 

.

 

It seems so intimate, far too soft for anything he's familiar with where Hyuntak is concerned. Actions like this would normally bring the worst out in Hyuntak, leave him with smarmy comments about Hiwan being gross, or ultimately just deciding he no longer needed to be around. Hiwan would try to stop it, but he couldn't help how he was around the other. As much as he tried - Hyuntak just brought a sense of softness and tenderness to him. One he never felt with anyone else. He leans into Hyuntak's hand, slowly opening his eyes to look at the other. He's close, so close, and yet Hiwan feels as if he's still miles away.    
  
That is until the familiar, the absent-for-too-long feel of Hyuntak's lips are against his own. That noise he wishes he could have on replay. There's a moments hesitation, just a moment, for him to decide if this is going to bite him in the ass. When he lets that go, settles on the fact that he doesn't care, he returns the kiss. His eyes close, hands moving to rest against Hyuntak's hips, to familiarise himself with the expanse of skin yet again. The kiss is soft, foreign from what kisses are usually initiated by the other. And he keeps it soft, he keeps it delicate and gentle and tries to weigh all of his feelings into that single element of contact.

 

.

 

The hairs on the back of his neck seem to stand on edge, itching for the escalation. With every moment that passes, the rest of him starts to crave it, too. Because he's greedy, has always been greedy. He wants Hiwan's tongue back in his mouth, wants to familiarize himself with the way it feels to have the other's hands leaving scorching trails along his skin everywhere that they touched.    
  
The desire bleeds into his half of the kiss. The pressure no longer as feathery, a bit more insistent. His body tries to fill even the tiniest bubble of space between them, hungry for more of Hiwan. For everything. Everything he had lost and ached to have again, everything he thought he would never be able to have again.    
  
Now isn't the time, he forces himself to remember. With a heavy dose of reluctance, Hyuntak pulls back. Their lips are still brushing - he knows he hasn't moved far enough away, but he can't bring himself to move further, doesn't want to be anything but close to him. His lungs feel near empty, breath baited and hooked into his throat while they kissed; he hadn't even noticed. He breathes out like it is the first opportunity he's had to in ages. And maybe it is, maybe now he can breathe with a clear mind, a buoyant heart.    
  
"I won't." He can't, wouldn't want to. It's easy to promise, so easy when he means it. His lips press down on Hiwan's again, trying to straddle the line between light and too much, too soon. He murmurs into the kiss, an already soft voice muffled further by the contact, "I won't."

 

.

 

Hiwan would like to go back to how they were, quickly, to make up for all the lost time. But he can't, he won't give himself that. It's too soon, if his mind has told him anything - it's that. Falling back into old ways would be a mistake for both of them, it would get them nowhere and they'd probably be left back where they started. Apart and lost and missing each other desperately. They need to talk, he decides. They need to find out what ground they're on and how they can stay at that ground. Without falling into arguments and days without talking. He can't do that again, he knows it would be the end of him if he did.    
  
But Hyuntak's words seem so... just so. Like there's so much weight behind them and it's a promise he intends to keep. He hasn't made it, but it sets in Hiwan's hearts and melts away every doubt. It runs through his body and makes him feel warm and whole and the opposite of how he's felt for the last few months. "Thank you." His words are lost against lips too, and it isn't long before Hiwan is using the hands around Hyuntak's waist to pull them both closer to his bed.    
  
He doesn't sit, he just stops when he feels the back of his legs against the solid frame. And then he pulls Hyuntak even closer, allows himself to deepen their kiss to something more familiar. His hands lift from the others waist to rest against his cheeks, tongue licking into Hyuntak's mouth along with a soft moan. He'll give them this - he will put his guard up around everything that is not  _ this _ . Just for now.

 

.

 

As Hiwan's hands travel up, the hand on his nape finds itself heading downwards as his whole body begins to react like it's being held up by Hiwan's touch alone. Hiwan kissing him like this, it leaves him feeling boneless and light - if Hiwan let go of him right this second, he was sure to float away. And that was only if he didn't come apart in front of him first, like a flaky bar of chocolate crumbling into pieces on Hiwan's tongue.    
  
Both his hands settle on Hiwan waist, grip as tight as it was indecisive. Hyuntak wanted to hold Hiwan where he was and make sure he never left, kept exploring parts of him that he hadn't touched in too long. But the more time he spent in Hiwan's space, their touches intimate as they shared personal space and their breaths mingled, Hyuntak could not help wanting more. Even if it wasn't all the way, pushing Hiwan back onto the bed and crawling on top of him would be enough. And even if it wasn't, would it be so bad discarding both their shirts and grinding their hips in time with each other? Would it be so bad getting Hiwan's hands on every part of himself again? A thirsting, irresponsible voice pondered loudly inside his head, seeking Hyuntak's attention, his acceptance and blind admittance that no, there were only things to gain from such a transaction.    
  
The moan that exits his lungs breaks in two the moment it jumps out of his throat, torn over the possibilities laid out in front of him. He cannot think straight, not like this. There is a part of him that loves the feeling, the loss of concrete thought flowing through his mind with every pass Hiwan's tongue makes over his own, and that same piece of him kicks up a storm when he breaks away from the kiss.    
  
He doesn't go far - his head falls onto Hiwan's shoulder, a fair enough distance away to hinder him from getting drawn to his lips again.    
  
His voice is airy, amused, laced with thin strands of arousal when he pants, "Don't. Do that."

 

.

 

Hiwan is floaty, his head is in the clouds and he's quietly thanking whatever gods are looking over him for bringing Hyuntak back to him, for allowing him into his life and to go straight to this. No awkward stances and wondering what lines were placed where, whether they would lead to the explosion of a mine if either of them were within centimetres of each other. He couldn't hack that, he couldn't hack the sheer possibility that the first time they saw each other in this proximity, they'd be crying again.    
  
When Hyuntak breaks the kiss, he appreciates the ability to breathe again, and there's a laugh in the back of his throat at Hyuntak's words. His hands return to wrap around Hyuntak's back, breathing slowing as he rubs gentle circles into the others shirt. "Sorry." He isn't, not at all. He needed it to regain his focus. "I'm gonna fall, so." He reluctantly and hesitantly disconnected himself from Hyuntak's grasp just enough that he can climb onto the bed, tucking one leg under him as his hand slides from Hyuntak's body, down his arm and gently laced their fingers. He tugs slightly. "C'mere."

 

.

 

When he clambers onto the bed after him, Hyuntak makes the decision to sit himself beside Hiwan rather than in front of him. It would be harder to kiss him this way, he notes a bit despondently. But that's a good thing, at least for now. It does not matter how many pots and pans are banged together by the more frenzied part of his brain, still trying to convince him otherwise. It doesn't matter how much Hyuntak wants to listen to it and coax Hiwan into doing the same.    
  
Their hands are still connected - Hyuntak chooses to focus on that. Or tries to. There's a lot trying to devour the space in his head now that he's back here again: sweet-to-sour memories, the ghost of Hiwan's fingers drawing maps along his skin, whatever the hell he was supposed to be saying next.    
  
_ Sex would solve that, _ a voice pipes in. Its opinion is pointedly ignored.    
  
Hyuntak crosses leg over the other stretched out in front of him, and watches their hands as his thumb idly strokes skin he hasn't grown as familiar with.    
  
"So," he recites.

 

.

 

Hiwan settles as Hyuntak sits beside him, feeling a weight fall from his shoulders and leave him with just Hyuntak, just the zone they're in and this closeness. He wants more, of course he does, every inch of his body wants Hyuntak in the ways he's used to. But it's that whole worry of too much too soon. It could completely ruin what they're doing now.    
  
"So." He repeats, because he doesn't know what to say now. He doesn't know what the best thing is to say. "What-" he sighs, looks down at their hands while he closes his eyes. "We can just-" Hiwan opens his eyes to look at Hyuntak, biting his lip. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad we're-"

 

.

 

Hyuntak lifts his gaze, glazed in interest as they fall on Hiwan's. He waits a moment for the abrupt pause to be followed by something again, but when it isn't his eyebrows cave in confusion. Apprehension. It seizes his chest, rattles his very core, and even though it feels like so much longer, it only lasts a second. When Hyuntak blinks, swallowing to try and ease the circus causing havoc inside his chest, it's packed up and left. He's alone with Hiwan again, an incomplete thought still dangling in the air between them.    
  
He squeezes Hiwan's hand, tries not to assume, to fill in the blank he had been presented with.    
  
"We're what?"

 

.

 

Hiwan uses his free hand to rub at his nose, scratching at a non existent itch. This is where things went wrong last time, how could he possibly bring up feelings and more of the like when there's every chance Hyuntak will just leave him again. He turns his gaze to the other, chewing on his bottom lip. He only releases it to speak. "I'm just glad we're together." He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know- I don't, I guess we don't label it." He doesn't know if he's saying the right things or if he's digging himself a grave. He thinks back to the nights he spent with the guys who weren't Hyuntak, they leave a bitter taste in his throat. He tried to get over Hyuntak - had he known that they'd be back here only months after things got messy, he wouldn't have done it.    
  
"I don't know what you want." They're not rough words, they're soft and questioning because he truly wants to know. He wants to know where Hyuntak is at, where they're at. "I'm not good at talking. I'm worse at saying the right thing."

 

.

 

He leans over and pretends this is simple. Hyuntak, with his second guessing and overthinking and too much time spent sinking to the bottom of a sea of denial and deflection, presses his lips onto Hiwan's and pretends that this is simple.    
  
It isn't. He's scared. A second passes and in it, the hand not clinging to Hiwan's clutches the bed covers hard enough for the skin around his knuckles to protest the pull. Because he knows why this isn't easy, why Hiwan is dancing around this with such uncertain feet. Hyuntak doesn't want to mess up again either - the desire bleeds into his kiss, a chaste thing that hardens with his desperation to make up for all the things he's said, that he regrets.    
  
When he pulls away, Hyuntak takes a moment to remind himself he's not stuck in the same muddy waters he waded through then. That confusion isn't there, doesn't cloud his mind and blacken his heart and switch on the emergency bells in his brain. But he's weighed down by the memory of it, feels like each offense is caked onto his skin like dirt, and why would Hiwan want any of that?    
  
He deserves better, he thinks. I want to be better, he thinks. Maybe my better isn't good enough, he thinks.

  
"I want you." The words scratch the walls of his throat on their way out. He swallows to try and dull the ache. "If you want to take me back. All of me, not just—not just the parts you like."

 

.

 

Hiwan hesitates - because when has it ever been an issue for him wanting all of Hyuntak? He can't recall - he recalls it being an issue for Hyuntak to take his softer side, that the moment Hiwan got serious then the gloves were off and that was the end of it. But he doesn't voice that, he doesn't want to put a damper on this, he doesn't want to sour things. Not when it seems to be going so well.    
  
Instead he shifts his body so he can move onto Hyuntak's lap, hands resting on the others cheeks. His thumbs stroke against his skin, a small smile on his face. "I like all of you." He breathes, resting his forehead against Hyuntak's. "I want you, and if you want me too - all of me - then I guess we both know where we stand."

 

.

 

"Okay," he softly answers. Hyuntak pushes off all the doubt and fear spiraling up his ribs like vines. He could deal with it later. This was okay, they were okay. That would be enough for now.   
  
His loosely hooks one leg around the small of Hiwan's back and winds both arms around his neck to help pull Hiwan down with him as he falls back onto the bed. He has their lips locked in another kiss before his head has even hit the mattress; Hyuntak emits a soft groan when his head finally lands, a few moments sooner than Hyuntak had been expecting it to. The miscalculation culminates in Hyuntak pulling away from the kiss to make another dissatisfied noise, the sudden and rather abrupt landing causing a faint but fleeting throbbing sensation in the back of his head. Smooth.    
  
He, of course, takes the opportunity to exaggerate his distress. The muted ache is already on its way out when Hyuntak shuts his eyes, turns his head, and presses his cheek against the covers, a low whine accompanying the sullen pout that curves his lips.

 

.

 

Hiwan lets out a soft gasp mingled with a light chuckle, hands slipping to rest either side of Hyuntak's head once he's laying flat on his back. And then comes the dramatic phase as Hyuntak whines. It leaves Hiwan smirking, and he tries to make it better by leaning his head just enough to capture Hyuntak's lips on his own again. He pulls away after a brief moment, shifting slightly so he can properly hover above Hyuntak. "I missed kissing you." He hums, lips moving to press gently against Hyuntak's neck. "I missed touching you." He continues, lips trailing up and along Hyuntak's jaw, further until he reaches Hyuntak's lips again. "I missed you saying my name."

 

.

 

"Hiwan," he mutters, his voice starting to fray as the name rolls of his tongue. Echoing his thoughts and telling Hiwan how he missed that too, that he wants that back, would be stating the obvious. It's coded into the way his voice tilts when he says his name, the way his leg awkwardly tries to press Hiwan closer. So, instead, he pins Hiwan down with a pointed stare. His hands settle on the other's shoulders, wanting to hold him in place as he continues his piece. "If you don't plan on fucking me into this mattress, shut up."

 

.

 

He hesitates, thinks about what he'd decided before they got to the bed. He hadn't planned on it, he'd settled on it being a bad idea to do that right now. So he bites his lip, and lowers his head to rest against Hyuntak's chest. "Not now." Are the only words that fall from his mouth. "Sorry." He closes his eyes as he exhales shakily, trying to focus only on Hyuntak's breathing and the beating of his heart. And he stops talking, he stays where he is and figures if Hyuntak wants to leave again, maybe that's how things should be. He tries to swallow the doubt, tries to accept what Hyuntak has said as true and real.

 

.

 

"Get off before you fall asleep on me."    
  
It's meant to be teasing, but as Hyuntak carefully pushes Hiwan off his person and back onto the bed, he can't help but notice a somberness creeping into his tone. He knows why - it's the reason he's repositioning the two of them in the first place: the open space around his head and the weight of Hiwan's head on his chest was slowly pushing his mind into an overdrive of thought. Like watching the skies on days when the clouds are big and fluffy enough to play pretend with. The silence in their surroundings eats away at him so easily when there's nothing else for him to latch onto.    
  
So he finds an anchor in Hiwan. Hands slide down and snake around Hiwan's waist again. His face is pressed to the other's neck, breathing not entirely steady. When he can hide himself in plain sight, slotting his leg between Hiwan's and burying his body in the sheer solidness of him, he doesn't feel the need to think as much.

 

.

 

Hiwan allows himself to be moved and helps in settling himself on the bed beside Hyuntak. His hands wrap around the other as he seems to slot himself comfortable in his position. He still wants to speak - he wants to tell Hyuntak that he wants to fuck him into the mattress, that he wants to hear the way Hyuntak moans his name and tells him how good he is. "And when I do fuck you-" He starts, hands rubbing against Hyuntak's back. "It'll be against a goddamn wall." Because he's not ever going to fall away from the need to have Hyuntak pinned up against a wall while he's making the most delicious noises.

 

.

 

His lips get the shape of his teeth impressed upon them the second Hyuntak fully registers the words pouring into one ear and out the other like honey. The flip of his stomach is sinful. Perhaps their mending wasn't actually as painless as Hyuntak was surprised to find it was—this must have been his punishment, some method of payback.   
  
"Hiwan, I swear to god," he chides, pleads. He can't be too sure, the line gets progressively blurrier the longer the image is left to set in his mind. It's a really nice image too. A sound of frustration leaves his mouth and his teeth nip lightly at Hiwan's skin instead. He's happy to pretend it's part of his scolding and not a thinly veiled attempt at a distraction so he can keep himself in line. Not that it's very effective - the bite isn't hard enough to leave anything behind or (and more importantly) lessen the yearning beginning to course through him.

  
Celibacy was such an awful, torturous thing.

 

.

 

He hums, it's soft and satisfied and content with the reaction that's stemmed from Hyuntak. Because his comfort melts into smugness, hands pull Hyuntak that little bit closer as his mind tries to find ways around his fairly solid foot, stuck in his decision to not fuck Hyuntak like he truly wants to. "I'll stop, I'm sorry." He snorts, not particularly sorry at all as he inhales sharply after the nip against his skin. His mind dips in with vague tips on how he could still get the best  out of Hyuntak's whining without committing to breaking his own non-voiced rule. But Hiwan fights the thoughts, with more soft caresses to Hyuntak's back. "Tonight, maybe." Is what he finally settles on. "Not here. A hotel, maybe." It would give the rest of the group some piece of mind at least.

 

.

 

The suggestion makes him wince and more than anything, he hopes Hiwan doesn't notice.    
  
Hyuntak pulls his lips back, entertains the idea of pulling away entirely but ultimately chooses not to. He wouldn't be left with many places where he could hide the furrow of his eyebrows if he left the shelter between Hiwan's head and shoulder.    
  
This is absolutely the universe getting back at him for everything that came before this. He should have known something was up when everything starting falling under the category of too good to be true.   
  
Wordlessly, he clasps his hands together behind Hiwan's back, hopes his silence serves as some kind of answer - preferably the right answer - and Hiwan simply coasts past this. Hyuntak wouldn't even mind if he continued being a teasing nuisance, anything was better than the thick fangs of guilt gnawing at his insides.

 

.

 

"Not tonight?" He continues, realises he should probably stop. Maybe the silence was at Hiwan speaking, maybe Hyuntak just wanted to stay silent and let whatever time they had wash over them, to focus on one another's breathing. But it wouldn't make sense for him to be silent when Hiwan had suggested what he clearly wanted. "Or do you just want everyone to hear?" He's not sure what the right answer is, or what sort of region the right answer seems to be hiding in. Hiwan stops talking after that, uses his hands to pull Hyuntak even closer. He doesn't know why his mind is on overdrive - well, he does. It's a lot to take in, but constantly gibberish isn't going to help matters. "Just ignore me, I'm talking too much."

 

.

 

Was he supposed to bring this up now? Later? Never? Wait until they both sat down and decided to play a game of  _ remember when _ because someone thought it would be funny or entertaining or helpful or completely and utterly destructive but not so bad it would dissuade them from building a bridge and fucking their way over it later?    
  
Maybe he was the only one who would make a big deal out of this. Maybe he was working himself into a useless frenzy.    
  
Hyuntak ignores the voice reminding him of all the times casually, hypothetically, mentioning a third party engaging in inserting slot A into slot B with him had left Hiwan prickly (at the very least) and wriggles his body out of Hiwan's grasp. Casual was absolutely the way to go about this, at least until he was given a reason to change his demeanor. But maybe it wouldn't get that far. Maybe they'd be fine. Maybe their newly crafted coexistence would be fine. Maybe Hiwan hadn't suffered from a bout of short-sightedness when he declared he did, in fact, want every part of him.    
  
He has rolled onto his stomach and his cheek is cradled in his palm when he repeats, "A hotel," and takes a moment to pretend he's weighing his options. "When did you become a hotel person, hm?"

 

.

 

Hiwan shrugs his shoulders. He became a hotel person when he didn't want to make things worse by bringing them back to the dorm. He sometimes wondered if he should but that would mean Hyuntak would know he was getting to him. He moves to sit up, leaning forward to rest his hands on his ankles with a small smile on his face. "Is this honesty hour?" He asks quietly, chewing at his lip. Maybe they should put everything on the table, maybe they should just throw everything into the open that would potentially stop them taking a step forward. "I guess since I didn't wanna bring guys here and be a dick to you. Indirectly." He shrugs. "But mostly, now, I just want it for us." He bites his lip until he can taste blood. "I want us, just us, together. And I don't want to hold back, I want you to know how much I missed you."

 

.

 

It doesn't bother him as much as it maybe should, hearing Hiwan admit to that. Maybe because there was a point in time where Hyuntak was used to there being guys in his life that weren't him, and he never minded it then. But the same applies now, after Hiwan could have been his, and Hyuntak he doesn't exactly feel  _ nothing _ over it, but it's not anywhere close to feeling like a devastating punch to the gut.    
  
Because Hiwan has this thing that he does where makes him feel like he's the only person on the planet that matters. It probably helps that Hyuntak's ego agrees, doesn't see why he would prefer anybody else when they work so  _ well _ together. When they banter, when they fuck.

  
It must not be the same for Hiwan. What reason had Hyuntak given him to believe it was the same for him? There were no safety nets at the bottom of his fall. Hyuntak had never bothered to think he might need one, never considered the possibility because he was always too deep in his own head, thinking of himself. About how Hiwan had him, for whatever amount of time he had him, and that should have been enough, right? And Hiwan would tell him things,  _ show him things _ , that confirmed his thoughts, and it felt like an understanding.    
  
Hyuntak was selfish and blind, and Hiwan let him be. Of course it would be different for him.    
  
His eyes don't stray from the blankets. Two words sit on the tip of his tongue, too vague for a confession, but sometimes Hyuntak is a coward and one of the things he likes least is losing at the hands of his own shortcomings. But he has to say  _ something, _ knows he owes Hiwan this much.   
  
"Me too."   
  
_ I slept with someone too, I missed you too, I'm sorry. _

 

.

 

He doesn't know what Hyuntak is referring to. The boys, the wanting to be in a hotel with just him, missing him. He just didn't know. And Hiwan thought he might want to - there's a question on the tip of his tongue asking what Hyuntak means. But it doesn't bother him, he finds. Thinking about it - actually, he could be very happy with not knowing. The point is that Hyuntak feels the same way that he does. "Then tonight." He lowers himself just enough so he can press his lips against Hyuntak's forehead, a smile permanently planted on his face. For the first time in a long time, he feels doubt melt from his bones and his stomach and free the lump in his throat that he hadn't even realised was there.

 

.

 

Hyuntak raises an eyebrow, waiting. There is no big boom that follows, no burst of emotion or ball of smoke so thick it was near impossible to guess what as waiting on the other side should he decide to walk straight into it.    
  
He blinks, allows himself a moment more. It doesn't come. His eyes close and he smiles softly to himself, relieved that he managed to navigate that without stepping on Hiwan's toes. Or maybe he should be thankful that Hiwan doesn't seem to mind either, but that's more of a double edged sword. It's silly but there's still a part of Hyuntak that relishes Hiwan's more... assertively protective reactions. But after everything that's happened between them, he doesn't really deserve to get his cake and eat it all at once, too.    
  
With his shoulders feeling far lighter than they had when they started this, Hyuntak turns into his side again. "Can we go to a karaoke room first?" he asks, following his hand as it rested on Hiwan's chest, fingers splayed slightly as he took his time sliding it down his front.

 

.

 

Hiwan raises a brow. It shouldn't really be that out of the ordinary - when you could sing like Hyuntak, why wouldn't you flaunt it? Potentially because people would suddenly know who you are and your night would go from fun and games to trying to fight off people begging for an autograph. He thinks about it, and then decides it would be fun. It would be normal. Something normal for them to do,  _ together _ .    
  
"We can do that, yeah." He nods, eyelids fluttering closed as his mind follows Hyuntak's hand, willing it to go further than it is, to break past the agreement they'd made and make him be the one eating his voiceless words. "Since when did you go to karaoke rooms?"

 

.

 

He makes a bit of a show out of pretending to find an answer to that question - for a long moment he hums thoughtfully, fingers curling and pulling the material of the shirt into his loose fist. When the humming finally stops, Hyuntak has pushed his body up and shifted so he could easily kiss Hiwan again. From his lips to the corner of his mouth, along his jaw and once upon his neck.    
  
"Since I wanted to work you up in a private one," he finally answers when he moves to Hiwan's ear, a soft smirk playing on his features. "Just going somewhere to get fucked isn't as fun, you know? I like when we pretend I've pissed you off enough to earn it."

 

.

 

"Ah." Hiwan rolls his eyes - he knew there were strings attached somehow to this rather normal plan of events. He knew for a fact that being so worked up when he wanted Hyuntak this badly would only end in disaster - or potential disaster. There was the question of whether Hiwan would even last long enough to make it to the hotel, for the first time at least. He planned on prolonging this until Hyuntak couldn't move. It still sends shivers down his spine, and his head tilts while his arms try to pull Hyuntak awkwardly into his lap. "You always did like being relentlessly fucked into the closest surface." He muses, releasing a soft gasp at the memory of last time. "Making that same gorgeous face while you take me like dirty fuck you are."    
  
It's a bit much, he notes, but his mind has already wandered too far in that direction, his teeth have already pulled his bottom lip into his mouth while he thinks about it. "And soon everyone will know the extent of it."

 

.

 

The moan that bounces around his chest is as much for show as it is an understated reaction to each and every word Hiwan is so generously sharing with him. They paint a nice picture. Hyuntak leans forward, slipping his fingers under the neckline of Hiwan's shirt and tugging it to one side. He moves it as far away from the neck as he can before lowering his hand to kiss around the exposed shoulder, hand holding his shirt in place.    
  
"If we're going to make such a mess, we should probably be careful."    
  
The how of it is slipping further and further down the list of things Hyuntak wants to talk about right now (imploring Hiwan to explain to him how exactly he plans on spending their time together at the very top of said list), but his tongue must believe there are benefits to be found in pacing himself. Hyuntak cannot say he agrees, capping off his last words by dragging his tongue over Hiwan's skin and pressing his lips around the vertical stripe. They could always discuss details later, when Hyuntak didn't have a man he strongly felt for trapped between his legs.    
  
"And you should be nice and tell me what kind of mess you plan on turning me into," he murmurs into his shoulder before he begins to gently suck around the bare skin he has made available to himself.

 

.

 

He tilts his head just as a soft moan is released from his lips, in response to Hyuntak's own. He doesn't really know what careful is - he's never really been careful in a sense of avoiding too much mess when it comes to Hyuntak. Physically, anyway. It was emotionally that he struggled with. Hiwan hums, pretending to think about what Hyuntak has said. He doesn't need to, he knows exactly what kind of state he wants to get them into. He knows exactly what Hyuntak will resemble once they're finished and collapsed next to each other.    
  
"I'm always so cautious about marking you, but fuck it." He mumbles, eyes closed as he revels in the way Hyuntak's tongue works in his skin, followed by the sucking. He exhales sharply. "I'm going to give you everything you want, and then when you can barely even stand straight, I'm going to remind myself how gorgeous every inch of you is. And you can't touch yourself when I do."

 

.

 

"Hm. That sounds a little rude," he mentions as he pulls back. His hand falls away from the shirt's neckline, the material slowly creeping up Hiwan's shoulder in its attempt to return to its intended shape.    
  
His fingers travel between their bodies, dancing over the rest upon one of Hiwan's thighs. His mouth rejoins his, brushing lightly as he begins to ask, "What else—"   
  
Hyuntak goes still, still partially hovering over as his head turns toward the door. It's quiet for a moment or two more before another series of knocks hits the door. A soft groan serves as the backing track to Hyuntak's entire body seeming to slump forward, his hand abandoning its plan to settle on Hiwan's inner thigh and inside falling away and landing on the mattress.

 

.

 

Hiwan is about to respond when he hears the knocks, and he's a little too distracted by Hyuntak's hand and wanting to continue this stream of dirty thoughts he's been allowed to voice. It makes him feel warmer. Though all of the heat is gone when they're interrupted. And he no longer feels Hyuntak's hand close to his thigh, it's disappointing. His hands are still resting against Hyuntak's waist as he calls out a simple 'yeah?'    
  
The voice on the other side, belonging to Kyungwon, makes him sigh. He leans to rest his chin on Hyuntak's shoulder. " _ Just checking everything is alright. We're picking up dinner. _ " Hiwan was sure they hadn't even decided that, but he wasn't about to argue. He didn't know what he'd accepted or declined to do since he'd come back from his break. "Alright. Five more minutes."    
  
His next action is to gently nudge Hyuntak until they're no longer tangled together. "Meet me outside at 7, yeah?" Hiwan presses one single kiss to Hyuntak's lips before he's sliding off the bed. "And don't look so sus when you leave my room." He raises a brow.

 

.

 

Hyuntak narrows his eyes and huffs at the mere idea that he wouldn't do everything in his power  _ not _ to look the two of them had been engaging in several very, very indecent activities on Hiwan's bed. Honestly, he was quite offended. Hyuntak was a saint, a stream of light flooding into a dormitory filled to the brim with too many impurities to count. The last thing Hyuntak would ever want to do was  _ add _ to it and make Kyungwon, of all people, spend any amount of time exposed to the harsher, dirtier sides of their little corner of the world.    
  
And because he was just so, so  _ pained _ by this obvious attack on his character, Hyuntak slowly lifted his hands to hair... and began tousling it to the best of his ability.    
  
_ "Ah," _ Hyuntak purposefully moans as he plants his feet on the ground, hands still busy making a messy work of art on top of his head. He makes sure he's loud enough that that long suffering man on the other side of the door could hear him with ease. "Oh god, Hiwan, I  _ know. _ I wish you could eat me too,  _ mmm." _ It takes a lot of effort to bite back the laugh that's begging to be let out, but Hyuntak manages to keep it at bay. How could he not, when so much was on the line: His dignity, reputation, an opportunity that was just begging him to be a nuisance in Hiwan's company.    
  
Once he's standing upright, Hyuntak's hands drop back to his sides and smiles innocently in Hiwan's direction when he whispers, "Seven it is."   
  
Then Hyuntak's bounding over to the door, sighing heavily when he pulls it open and the first thing his eyes fall on is Kyungwon. "Hyung," the epitome of angelic behavior greets with a smile as he steps out of the room, shaking his head slightly to try and bring attention to it. "Are we all going..." Hyuntak begins, voice trailing off as he closes the door behind him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Hiwan had thought about this ever since Hyuntak had left his room - he'd thought about what he would do to the other, how he would find new ways to make Hyuntak realise that he was very keen to keep things fresh and exciting and anything but  _ mundane missionary sex _ . It was one of the things that had bugged him most while he'd been trying to work through his acceptance of a lack of Hyuntak. It was brief, after he realised he'd spent very little, if any time, with Hyuntak in the missionary position. So he had nothing to worry about. He never had, if he was confident in anything, it was his ability to fuck beautifully. And Hyuntak had never had complaints before, only thinly veiled attempts at getting a rise out of Hiwan. It usually worked.    
  
He's careful, as they enter the hotel lobby. While his entire body hungers to have Hyuntak close by, to have his lips exploring skin he's already familiar but out of touch with. He's far too eager to have Hyuntak pinned against the closest surface so he can fill him and remind him what he's missed, and more importantly, how much Hiwan has missed him. He's given his key card and issues a professional thank you to the man behind the desk, gripping Hyuntak's sleeve to tug him gently - a gesture which can't really be seen as anything more than friends urging friends.    
  
Once they reach the room, Hiwan wastes little time in getting them both inside. And the surface that Hiwan chooses to push Hyuntak against is the door once he's closed it. His body is pressed flush against Hyuntak's, lips exploring his neck opposed to his mouth, hips purposely shifting to cause light friction between the two of them. "You look fucking hot."

 

.

 

A laugh is the first thing that pushes out of his chest, bubbly and knowing. He understands where Hiwan's eagerness must come from, can't not when he feels the same. For most of the night, Hyuntak suffered from the same attention seeking itch that refused to go away unless Hiwan's touch ran over it like a soothing balm. But having Hiwan's hand on his arm or partially pressing his body against the other's would only sate the itch for so long—his body couldn't be tricked into being content with fleeting touches when Hyuntak knew what was waiting for them at the end of the night.    
  
Now they were finally here and Hyuntak intimately understood Hiwan's desire to get right down to it, but having it displayed so openly caused something to stir in his chest. Until he can figure out what exactly that something is, his body decides the best reaction to its existence was amusement.    
  
The fondness clings to his smile as his laughter tapers out into a soft humming sound. "You're so impatient," Hyuntak coos, arms snaking around Hiwan's waist as he tips his head to one side, offering it to Hiwan's mouth. "It's kind of cute."

 

.

 

He pays little mind to the comment, except for a small grunt as he feels his face flush. Cute? That was something he didn't really feel associated with, but Hyuntak had described him as cute before. Normally he'd huff and roll his eyes because  _ he wasn't cute _ , but tonight he allows it. His grunt is replaced with a light moan as he trails his lips to the underside of Hyuntak's jaw, settling on one area of skin to dust with kisses and the occasional drag of his teeth. He pulls back after a moment, just so he can focus his attention on more of Hyuntak's exposed neck.    
  
His hands shift from their current position to begin undoing the buttons on Hyuntak's shirt. "Your fault." He finally hits back with, pulling his mouth away from its chosen spot on his neck. "You'd know all about impatience, anyway." Hiwan offers a smirk, as his hands reach the final button of Hyuntak's shirt and he's using both hands to push the material to the side so he can glance down.    
  
Hyuntak's always been described as gorgeous in Hiwan's mind. There's just so much that he feels himself appreciating. Hiwan's hands slide down Hyuntak's sides, fingers growing familiar once again with the softness of Hyuntak's skin, the curve of his hips, basking in the feelings of desire that lap around him.    
  
He wastes little time after that in trailing his kisses from Hyuntak's neck, down past his collarbone until he's at a point where he can lower himself to a kneel to finish the journey his lips want to make. They stop when he reaches Hyuntak's hip, fingers tugging his pants just enough so he can dip his kisses a little further. "Are you saying you're  _ not _ impatient?"

 

.

 

"I'm going to be if you plan on staying down there." Hyuntak pouts at him, hands settling on his shoulders and gripping lightly as he tried to urge Hiwan to get back up.    
  
A niggling feeling crawls into the cavity of his chest and only seems to intensify with every second that ticks by with Hiwan on his knees and not crowding around him like Hyuntak so desperately wants.    
  
"I want you up here," he murmurs, bottom lips still sticking out. He had been playing along at first but the more Hyuntak thinks about having to spend any amount of time without Hiwan completely in his space, the more he dislikes the idea and craves the opposite. And maybe Hiwan hadn't planned on being on the floor for too long, but Hyuntak doesn't care about the potential reasoning behind it. That is how his impatience begins to fully manifest, woven into his spoken plea and shaping his imploring expression.

 

.

 

Hiwan raises a brow as he glances up at Hyuntak, lips still busy with the jut of Hyuntak's hip. He pulls away moments after he's left a mark that won't hang around for too long. "Do you?" Hiwan hesitates for s moment, abandons the plan of familiarising his mouth once more with the part of Hyuntak his body is begging to touch. He stands slowly, body pressed against Hyuntak's as he returns his lips to the others neck, sucking lightly at the skin while his hands detour to slide around Hyuntak's waist. "And what do you want next?" Hiwan's words are soft, light, as he drags his teeth over flesh, as he sucks it into his mouth and moans around it.    
  
Hiwan pulls back so he can rest his forehead against Hyuntak's, hips purposely rolling to grind against the others. "How long can you keep that pout up?"

 

.

 

"It's gonna be here until you fuck it out of my system." He explains it like he's describing the weather, eyes immediately zeroing in on Hiwan's mouth. He's distracted by it, the shape of them and how soft he remembers them feeling this afternoon, weeks and weeks ago. Hyuntak's hands move to cup the other's cheeks as he presses his lips to Hiwan's, a languid drag of flesh against flesh as his mind floats in the direction of something else. Soon he's distracted even with Hiwan's mouth on his, and the feeling chases after him no matter where it is his hands move - his neck, chest, shoulders, and back to his face again - or how much effort he puts into mirroring the motions of Hiwan's hip.    
  
He's relentless. There's so much he wants to do, so much promise laid out in front of them and Hyuntak has no idea what to do with so much of it at the same time. He doesn't know what he wants, can only reach out and feel vague urges that change shape or drift away before he has the chance to latch onto anything.    
  
"You should have fucked me while we were singing," Hyuntak laments as he breaks the kiss, groaning softly at the missed opportunity. His whole body had been buzzing then, seated on Hiwan's lap with a soda in one hand as he kissed down his neck and ground his hips with little regard for how it could have affected the notes Hiwan was tasked with singing into his microphone. His head was so much clearer then, following just the one track. At a certain point, he became focused on teasing Hiwan as much as he could within the limitations he'd issued himself.    
  
It was a single goal he could put his all into. But he couldn't focus down on any one goal now, all of his wants melding together and tearing his concentration apart.

 

.

 

He decides it's good, he likes it, he wants to have the pout there until Hyuntak can no longer keep his composure. The thought of missed opportunities stings, but it's not so bad that he's about to mull over his decision. The end game is still the same, and at some point he will fuck Hyuntak while he's singing. And he will enjoy the strangled words that will be a result of just that. While he sings with the chorus of skin against skin adding to the tune of whatever track he chose. The sheer image makes him shudder pleasantly. Hiwan wastes little time in connecting their mouths again, hips finding a steady pace to roll against Hyuntak's, each burst of friction making him moan.    
  
And then he's backing away just enough so that he can undo Hyuntak's pants, fingers fumbling with the button before he's able to push the offensive clothing away from Hyuntak's person. It's not by much, the position is still too awkward to have them removed completely. But his hand slips between them, to cup against Hyuntak over his boxers. He lets out a soft moan - a breathy and delighted noise as simply getting to touch Hyuntak again.

 

.

 

Hyuntak squirms under the touch, allows the hand a few moments to familiar itself with the shape of him before he's grabbing Hiwan's wrist and pulling his hand away, pinning it to the wall next to his waist.    
  
That won't do, that won't do at all. If how antsy he's gotten was anything to go by, nothing would. But Hyuntak was determined to fall back into the mindset he had imagined himself drowning in for this portion of their evening together. He presses one last kiss to the other's lips before gently pushing Hiwan back so he had some more room to try and wriggle out of his jeans completely.    
  
"You know what would be fun?" He spares Hiwan a glance as he kicks his shoes off; his gaze then drops when he hunches over, hands aiding in pushing his trousers further down his legs. He goes silent for a moment before finishing his thought. "Lube." Hyuntak makes a soft grunt, brought on by him finally managing to free one of his legs from his jeans. "I should have remembered to bring some." He steps out of the shallow pool of clothing at his feet, kicking it aside as he pursed his lips together thoughtfully.

 

.

 

Hiwan steps back just slightly so that Hyuntak can remove his trousers. He waits patiently for the answer of Hyuntak's clearly rhetorical question, smirking slightly when he finishes his words. There's little time spent with space between them as Hiwan is wrapping his arms around Hyuntak's waist to pull him close again, hands slipping to rest on the swell of his ass. "Lube would be fun." Hiwan agrees, and he's a little unhappy that neither of them thought to prepare that much in advance. He can't remember the last time he used it, and he doesn't recall it ever being a stable when Hyuntak is concerned.    
  
"Is that a deal breaker, huh? Do we just.. stop." He hums as he grinds his hips against Hyuntak's once more. It draws a soft moan from his lips, and he's slipping his hands out of Hyuntak's boxers to undo the buttons of his own shirt. "But Hiwan, how will you fuck me right without lube?" His tone is playful as he finishes tugging at his buttons, glancing up at Hyuntak once he's done. "How ever will you make me come now?"

 

.

 

Hyuntak narrows his eyes at the impersonation, eyes softening when his gaze dropped from Hiwan's face to his shirt. He is still and quiet for a moment before his hands reach up to grab two fistfuls of Hiwan's shirt, a lightbulb going off above his head as he used the shirt to pull him closer.    
  
"What if you left to get some?" The idea sounds ridiculous, even to his own ears, but that does not stop Hyuntak from being completely serious about his suggestion.

 

.

 

Hiwan raises a brow, resting his forehead against Hyuntak's with a look of pure confusion. Well, not so much confusion as a 'seriously?' Hyuntak thinks it would be a good idea for him to leave the hotel, clearly horny and showing, to get lube. He tries to search for a sign of playfulness, waiting for Hyuntak to tell him he's joking. There is none.    
  
"Alright." Is the answer He finally settles on, stepping back from Hyuntak's grasp so he can button his shirt back up. He lowers his hand to dip past the waistline of his jeans so he can find a more comfortable position for his semi. "Don't you dare start without me." Hiwan mumbles, tugging Hyuntak further away from the door so he can leave.    
  
-   
  
It doesn't take him long to make the trip back to the dorms to grab the lube. Hiwan ponders in his room for a moment to wonder if there's anything else he should take, but then he's deciding to just make his way back to Hyuntak. The dorm, thankfully, was empty. He swipes his key card to the door, pushing it until he's back inside.

 

.

 

Hyuntak didn't know what to do with himself after Hiwan left and did not immediately walk back into the room seconds after closing the door to chastise him for how silly his proposed idea was. He isn't even sure if he meant what he said or if his mouth was simply searching for something to do, something other than all the things the two of them were supposed to be doing in the hotel room.    
  
After enough time had passed to make it clear that Hiwan had, in fact, gone out to get what Hyuntak had asked for, Hyuntak stopped pacing in front of the door and wandered over to the bed.    
  
It felt like his heart was stuck in his room. It felt like his personality and ability to converse and flirt and be Hyuntak was all lodged in his throat, remains sprinkled across his chest that left him with a sort of itching sensation. Out of everything, this was supposed to be the easiest part. It felt like it would be - when they were in Hiwan's room and Hyuntak wanted nothing more than to watch him get off at least once; when Hyuntak had his head rested on Hiwan's shoulder in the noraebang, too tired from all his dancing around to stand up for the ballad they picked out, but not tired enough to stop his mind from occasionally concerning up ways Hiwan could have him on the couch. But not that they were here...   
  
Hyuntak is lying on the bed, eyes closed when the door opens. He doesn't know if their separation has eased the nerves crawling under his skin, doesn't know when he started labeling it nerves to begin with. Perhaps it was somewhere between him considering a nap as a way of calming down but then coming to the realization that he couldn't because his busy mind wouldn't let him.    
  
He doesn't make any moves to 'wake up', bending his knees a little more as he tucked one hand under his cheek.

 

.

 

His first thought when he walks back towards the bed is that Hyuntak has actually fallen asleep while waiting for him to get back. He doesn't think he took that long, not really. Nobody was there to distract him or ask where he was going and what he was doing. None of the hyungs were there to query where he absolutely needed to be with such contents of his bag. But even so, maybe Hyuntak was just really tired. Maybe tonight just wasn't meant to be the night.    
  
Hiwan scoffs at himself for the stupid intrusive thought. It wasn't like it was their first time, it wasn't like they hadn't done this before. It just held a lot more meaning, at least he thought it did. They'd both admitted something huge, in their own ways. He makes his way closer to the bed, placing his bag on the edge of it before he kicks his shoes off. "Hey." He hums, climbing onto the bed until he's hovering over Hyuntak. He presses a soft kiss to his neck, and then the underside of his jaw. "You're not asleep. You're not doing that snuffling thing you do." He mumbles.

 

.

 

Biting back the defensive  _ what are you talking about, how would you even know that _ on the tip of his tongue, Hyuntak quietly accepts the fact that even his acting chops have their limits and merely groans at Hiwan for figuring him out so quickly. He wanted more time. For what exactly, Hyuntak is still trying to figure out.    
  
In other more honest words, he's trying to find a replacement for what the reality of this situation is turning into.    
  
But he isn't going to get that chance, turning over and into his stomach as his eyes lazily flutter open. His hands move to hang off the side of Hiwan's shirt, fingers picking at the material. "If I tell you strawberries would be fun, would you run out and get me some of those, too?"

 

.

 

Hiwan frowns, mainly because he knows what Hyuntak is getting at. He didn't have to leave to get the lube, he could have quite easily told Hyuntak to suck it up and make do. But it was too late now. He rolls his eyes. "No." Hiwan hums "I might think you're trying to get rid of me." He mumbles, pressing their lips together hastily. "Since when did you like shoving strawberries up your ass, Hyuntak?" He coos, sitting back to undo the buttons on his shirt again.    
  
He then moves just enough so he can slide off the edge of the bed, resting on his knees as he stretches his arms out to wrap his fingers around Hyuntak's ankles. "Scoot down."

 

.

 

"The bed's nice," he whines, pout back in its rightful place. It doesn't last long, feeling almost wrong on his face, like a mask that he's been wearing for too long.    
  
Hyuntak does not budge from where he is at first, staring at the ceiling with his hands aimlessly clawing shallow dips in the covers. His lips part to say something but after a few attempts, mouth opening and closing and not a single sound coming out, Hyuntak pulls his ankles free from his grasp.    
  
He feels heavy. Like he's tired but not enough to fall asleep. And even if he was sleepy, he doesn't think he would succeed at following through with how his mind still seemed to be moving a mile a minute. So sitting up was out of the question. Dangling his legs over the side of the bed and staring up at not Hiwan was an idea that left him as dissatisfied as Hiwan getting down on his knees at the door had, so that wasn't happening either.    
  
That left him with one imperfect option, but at least some parts of him would get to enjoy the mattress he so desperately wanted to sink into.    
  
His movements are unhurried as he hooks his fingers under the waistband of his boxers and nimbly pulls them down his legs, fumbling somewhat when he gets them past his ankles. The underwear is dropped off the side of the bed and left on the floor to be forgotten as Hyuntak gets on all fours, knees spreading apart as his back curved into a modest slope. He settles his cheek onto his waiting arms, peering down at Hiwan once he was done repositioning himself, as if to say  _ here—this is better, isn't it? _

 

.

 

Hiwan lets his hands fall to the mattress, considering asking the silly question of 'are you alright?' Silly because he didn't know what accusations it might lead to. Silly because if Hyuntak felt anything like he did, it was pretty self explanatory. So instead he just watches as Hyuntak removes his boxers, as he then shifts so he's on display for Hiwan. He chews at his bottom lip, before he's shifting to sit on the edge of the bed, just enough so he can comfortably continue what he'd planned to do to Hyuntak beforehand. He starts with gentle kisses along the small of Hyuntak's back, hands sliding to familiarise themselves with the dip of Hyuntak's hips.    
  
He continues the steady stream of kisses until he has to push himself back onto the edge of the bed, lips traveling until they can busy themselves with the skin on Hyuntak's thighs.

 

.

 

"Are you going to take forever with this too?" Hyuntak asks conversationally, shifting his head so his neck was no longer craned for the benefit of getting a glimpse of the man behind him.    
  
He doesn't think he would mind if it took forever for this to get anywhere. It was strange - for all the filth his imagination conjured up before they got here, Hyuntak was finding it difficult to see anything more than a foggy void where all the paths they could follow tonight should have been. He can't fathom any possibilities without this increasingly familiar feeling of anxiousness creeping into his mind and corrupting any progress he makes with the mental images he tries to paint.    
  
The now is comforting in a way the not so distant future isn't, and Hyuntak wants to cling to that for as long as he can. For as long as it takes Hiwan to move past this, the light touches and the easy kisses.

 

.

 

It feels like a dig, but it doesn't sound anywhere close to what it should if it was. Hiwan pulls back just a moment as he chews on his lip, exhales sharply through his nose. "Sorry." He grips at the quilt for a few moments, trying to find his usual steely confidence that would mean he'd be able to fuck hyuntak exactly like he'd promised. He knows some of it is having his earlier plans foiled. If he could have Hyuntak in the way he'd initially wanted, he feels the butterflies in his stomach would take a hike.    
  
So Hiwan tries to give himself an internal pep talk, because he's done this to Hyuntak so many times that it shouldn't be an issue. It should give him nerves and he shouldn't be worried that he won't do it right. He knows how to do it, and he's heard the delicious noises that stem from Hyuntak because of him. So he wastes no more time before he's pressing his tongue against Hyuntak's entrance, moaning softly at the contact. His tongue circles the puckered flesh for a moment before it presses inside of him.

 

.

 

A soft gasp passes through his lips, fingers momentarily clenching into poorly formed fists as he tries and fails to find a way to properly hide his face. Not that it should matter when Hiwan is not able to see him anyway, but that reassurance and laying down of fact doesn't make the desire ebb away. Maybe because it's not Hiwan he's hiding from; it is not something physical and outside of him, it is an emotion he cannot fully grasp that he's trying to get away from, and there's no hiding from himself.    
  
He takes another breath, long and shaking. His fingers begin to relax in increments, and Hyuntak releases a quiet sigh when the rest of his body follows.    
  
It feels new, different. Odd. Like something he should be afraid of. It feels the way a first time would and the thought alone almost has Hyuntak tensing up again. He keeps his breathing steady, stops his body from arching any further and taking itself away from Hiwan's tongue in the process. He digs at the covers to give his fingers something to hold, taking his bottom lip into his mouth to help dispel all his jitters by gnawing them into the plump flesh.

 

.

 

Hiwan finds his direction back in the way Hyuntak makes pleasant noises, in the way he feels like he has a hold on himself now if he can draw even those quiet noises from the other. He settles himself a little more, tongue pushing further inside as he moans around the space, hands sliding to grip at Hyuntak's waist as he falls into the rhythm he's used to, tongue pushing inside, twisting and curling to press against Hyuntak's walls. He draws back a few times to breath drag his tongue around Hyuntak's rim, to make it slick with his spit before he returns to his previous movements. He continues to moan, one hand moving to grip at the bag he brought, awkwardly fishing for the bottle of lube.

 

.

 

His shoulders tremble, the hold on his lower lip relinquished to make space for a moan to pass into the atmosphere. As the gentle tremors carry over from his upper back to his hips, Hyuntak cannot tell whether it's entirely pleasure causing his body to respond this way. There's a cocktail of all these endless  _ others _ manifesting in him: expectations and a desire to fulfill them, worry and a need to make it disappear. Dissatisfaction and a want to ignore that it is there, building a home in the dark and quiet corners of his mind.

  
It feels good. It's Hiwan. There should be nothing wrong with this equation and his lungs feel the same, expelling some breathless noise whenever the feel of Hiwan's tongue tickles the pleasure-hungry knot inside him. But still. Still.    
  
He's slipping into something, a state of mind and lack of presence that feels neither warm nor inviting. A vacuous pool where he can simply exist alongside the sensations, worried more for his companion's enjoyment than his own. That isn't what he wants. But what he wants, what he's realized he's missing - would Hiwan want the same?   
  
He sucks in a breath, heartens.    
  
"Hiwan." His voice is barely above a whisper. It's all Hyuntak can manage, he realizes, after he swallows and speaks again, only for his words to slide off his tongue at the same volume, the same wavering, chary timbre.    
  
"When you're done, I wanna—try something, okay?"

 

.

 

Hiwan pauses what he's doing, his hand stilling on the bottle as he pulls back. He runs his tongue over his lips, glancing st Hyuntak with a look of confusion and curiosity. "What?" He asks, voice a little rough around the edges. It's not harsh, though. He busies himself with clipping open the cap of the bottle, running his fingers over the opening of it before he returns his gaze to Hyuntak's. "Do you want- now or after?"

 

.

 

His  _ 'now?' _ is tentative, Hyuntak not entirely sure what it was he was agreeing to. It's difficult piecing things together when his mind is so busy being a blurry mess. Figuring out what it was would probably be a good thing. Figuring that out would mean sharing his thoughts sooner rather than later because Hiwan might be referring to what he's been attempting to do with his tongue, but the idea of letting any of the things making the rounds in his head with Hiwan at any time, ever, was daunting.    
  
Cursing his ability to experience emotional reactions that were completely out of his control, Hyuntak squeezes his eyes shut. When they open, Hyuntak's body is moving again. His back straightens, fingers splayed on the mattress as he used his arms to push his body upright. Finally, his hips fall, legs folding beneath him.    
  
"Just," he sighs, shuffling around so him and Hiwan were facing each other. He wishes he didn't have to look at him as he explained himself, but he doesn't figure Hiwan would appreciate being served with his back while he spoke. Hyuntak eyes settle on Hiwan's chest, finding it slightly easier to speak to bare skin. "Remember—remember the last... when I said I didn't—"    
  
So. 'Easier' might have been a stretch. His hands ball into fists from where they rest on his thighs, and Hyuntak closes his eyes to take a moment and try to steel himself again.    
  
His eyes are still screwed shut when he makes his admission, voice a little louder than it strictly needs to be. Hyuntak chalks that up to his nerves.    
  
"Vanilla sex, that's what—that's what I want."

 

.

 

It catches him off guard, it majorly catches him and he feels his whole body shudder at the sheer thought. He doesn't know how to completely process it, but it mixes with he nerves in his stomach and makes his heart beat a little faster, causing a lump in his throat. "Oh." Hiwan exhales sharply, and then shifts until he can reach up to kiss Hyuntak roughly. He lifts his hands, pressing against Hyuntak's cheeks as he deepens the kiss, moaning softly against lips as he gently pushes Hyuntak back so he can lay against the mattress. When he pulls away it's just to place his hands either side of Hyuntak's head, and he offers a small smile. "Vanilla sex." There's a light chuckle as he dips his head to kiss Hyuntak's throat. "Okay." He thinks it might be easier, will get the two of them completely familiar with each other again. "Okay." He repeats, shifting so he can pick up the lube again. "Do you- you want me to finger you first?" It's a stupid question, really. But it's too late to take it back now.

 

.

 

"Yeah—please," he murmurs, still dazed from the shift of his whole body, his legs a bit delayed in catching up and adjusting to the new position, spreading further apart once he was comfortable. "Take as long as you want."   
  
He's still dazed from that fucking kiss because what the fuck was that? The memory of it leaves a prickling sensation on his lips like needles. It makes his insides turn to mush when he thinks about it, and Hyuntak longs for it like it wasn't something that happened only moments ago.    
  
He's dazed from his nerves suddenly flaring up, sparks shooting down to the very end of their rope before simply burning out because Hiwan didn't laugh in his face—not in the way he thought he would, with malice and a smirk to match, spitting the words Hyuntak had said back in his face. It's not as if he wouldn't have earned it, it's not like he hadn't done anything to warrant it. Because he would have had it coming, Hyuntak reminds himself. But Hiwan chose not to. And maybe it's more than Hyuntak deserves, but it still makes him breath a little easier.

 

.

 

Hiwan sits back on his knees, uncapping the lube once more and this time actually costing his fingers in the slickness. He presses the tips of them against Hyuntak's rim, spreading it just enough to have a thin coating over flesh. He moves just until he can hover over Hyuntak again, fingers staying where they are as he presses a kiss to the others lips. It's similar to before, rough and wanting and needy, as he pushes one of his fingers inside, moaning against Hyuntak's lips at the heat surrounding his digit. He begins a steady rhythm with his hand, twisting his finger before he's adding his second one, and falling into a pace he's familiar with. It's slow and steady, fingers taking their time to curl - not yet letting them bury at the hilt.

 

.

 

Hyuntak melts into the kiss with a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth as he responds to the kiss in kind. He doesn't want to jinx the both of them by putting some label on this, to ruin a moment that's taken Hyuntak far too long to recognize that he wanted, but this—Hiwan's lips on his own, their bodies radiating heat as Hiwan worked him open—feels good. It feels near perfect.    
  
His hands settling on Hiwan's shoulders at first, one of them eventually sliding along to his neck, fingers tickled by the hair that it finds on the nape of Hiwan's neck. A low, strangled noise exits his mouth when he feels a second finger push into him and Hyuntak breaks away from the kiss to take a breath, keeping his forehead pressed to Hiwan's.    
  
"Were you always this vocal?" he teases softly, darting his tongue over his lips as he stared at the man hovering above him. "Because if I wasn't—hah," his eyes flutter, firmly closing as his breath momentarily gets caught in his throat. "If I couldn't feel you inside me right now, I'd think you were the one taking it."

 

.

 

Hiwan scoffs, but it's playful and huffy and there's no heat in it. There can't be when he sounds so good as he says it. When he's making noises as well as Hiwan. And truthfully, he was always this vocal. He just recalls that more often than not, his moans are melted into skin as he tries not to be  _ too _ loud, as he tries to appreciate Hyuntak's moans. It's different now, it's just both of them alone in this hotel room, there's no need to hold back.    
  
"You just drive me crazy, Hyuntak." His tone is teasing as he pushes his fingers deeper, pressing their lips together just so he can tug at Hyuntak's lower one, fingers moving with more intent as they increase their pace, curling to press against the points of Hyuntak he knows riles him up the most.

 

.

 

The scrunches around the bridge of his nose are born as a playful act of revolt, as if the idea of Hiwan being affected by him in any capacity could ever put anything but a smile on his face or leave him with a simmering craving in the pit of his stomach.   
  
"Mm, so, so—"    
  
The rest of his words are replaced by a moan that bubbles up his throat, surprising him as much as the swift motions of Hiwan's fingers do. It repeats, prompted by the pleasant pull of teeth at the mercy of teeth he would not mind having on his neck, his thighs, everywhere they could reach.

  
His hips offer small jerks now and then, wanting to follow the rhythm of Hiwan's hand, but for the most part Hyuntak tries to remain still, finding a certain kind of enjoyment in simply being given something, waiting as patiently as he can for the possibility of something more.

 

.

 

Hiwan scissors his fingers, light gasps escaping his lips in an attempt to give Hyuntak more. More appreciation for everything Hyuntak is doing, appreciation for the way he feels around his digits and how the shivers at the noises of slick pumps urge him to replace them with something more substantial for the both of them. But he wants more - he needs more of Hyuntak before he gives them both that sort of release.    
  
"Can you do three?" His voice is slightly muffled as he dips his head to press kisses to Hyuntak's neck, teeth grazing over skin, followed by more kisses. He repeats this as he waits for an answer, sucking against the skin in his chosen area on Hyuntak's neck.

 

.

 

Rivulets of pleasure flow up and down his spine. In his head, under his skin, they sound and feel like those obnoxiously loud snap, crackle, popping candies he used to be obsessed with at a point in time.    
  
"Yes," his breathes and it comes out harsh, dry, and so clearly wanting. The popping sensation finds a way to drain down and into his cock and Hyuntak's toes curl as he tries to drag his rim further down the fingers already instead of him. As if that would cause the number to multiply, as if that would give him a third finger sooner.    
  
Patience has flown out the door, left a note saying goodbye with a  _ might be back later _ . Hyuntak wishes it well on its way out as one of his hands drops from Hiwan's shoulder. He reaches behind him to grab for the pillow under his head, grunting as he tried to yank the damn thing out from under him. It doesn't work, not until he remembers  _ lifting his head first _ might help matters. It does, and Hyuntak lets the pillow flop onto his face after he has pulled it free.    
  
He sounds like he's just finished a brawl with a bear when he says, "This. This first," and holds the pillow a bit tighter to get across what he was talking about.

 

.

 

Hiwan pulls his fingers out of Hyuntak slowly, sitting back on his knees so he can move the pillow from the others face. After a quiet request for Hyuntak to lift his hips, he tucks the pillow beneath them, and then takes a moment to admire Hyuntak. "Man, you're gorgeous." Hiwan breathes, staying where he is as he lines up his fingers against Hyuntak's rim, three of them this time. He pushes the first one in, right to he hilt as he glances at Hyuntak. The second one joins it seconds later, and then Hiwan is pressing a third digit inside. He makes a noise of pleasure and satisfaction at the feeling of Hyuntak around him, fingers beginning to move slowly, and then returning to his pace from before. He slowly returns to his original place, so he can press their lips together in a hungry kiss, fingers curling each time they're buried at the hilt.

 

.

 

Hyuntak can barely kiss him back. To be fair to himself, it was a difficult feat to accomplish when his mouth was developing a mind of its own and all of the choices it made on its own were formed around how it felt to be stretched open.    
  
(Good, if anyone was wondering. It feel good.)   
  
At a point, Hyuntak decides to throw in the towel when it comes to this whole thing and simply keep his lips parted, his tongue lazily wrapping around Hiwan's as he tried to wordlessly urge the other into doing whatever he wanted with their one and a half sided kiss. Hyuntak would keep his hips in motion, choke on the syllables of Hiwan's name whenever he made an attempt to call out for and praise him, and not hold back a single noise that crawled up the walls of his throat as a result of all of his painstaking exploration.    
  
It was a fair deal. At least it sounded like one to Hyuntak's ears, but he arrived at his conclusion with half of his soul free falling into the warm pits of a type of heavenly hell, so maybe he wasn't the best person to judge.

 

.

 

Hiwan feels a sense of impatience wash over him as Hyuntak reacts to the way his fingers are moving, to everything else. The noises that stem from him are delicious, and Hiwan could listen to them all day, he realises. He twists his fingers, pulling back from the kiss so he can press his lips against the underside of Hyuntak's jaw instead, sloppy kisses being left behind. His fingers increase their pace, until his wrist begins to ache. And when it does, he removes his fingers abruptly from Hyuntak's rim.    
  
His next movements are quick, once again returning to his knees so he can hastily push himself off the bed. He fumbles slightly, as he works his jeans off, and then pushes them down along with his boxers. He almost falls in his eagerness to be rid of the clothing. And once he's free, he kicks the clothing to the side, before he's returning to his knees, and grabbing the lube to begin coating his cock.    
  
Hiwan wraps his hand around himself to guide him to Hyuntak's entrance, and he groans at just the feeling of Hyuntak's rim against the head of his cock. It seems to drag him, and he pushes into Hyuntak until he's fully sheathed.

 

.

 

He knew the amused smile on his face would be wiped off the minute Hiwan was back on the bed, jeans and underwear tossed aside. But he expected the process to be more abrupt. Jarring. Hyuntak worries at his lip, waiting for a burst of sparks that set his insides on fire and do not give him a single moment of peace there after. That's not what he gets at all.    
  
A gasp is knocked out of his lungs when Hiwan starts sinking into him, followed closely behind by a raspy noise that sounds almost like a moan should but isn't quite there. It doesn't burn on its way out, doesn't leave his throat sore. All he is is breathless and pliable under Hiwan's touch. Their joining anchors him more than anything, and for a moment, Hyuntak fears what would happen if Hiwan left him, their bodies separating again.    
  
The fear, as irrational as it may be in the moment, pushes Hyuntak to appreciate the feeling of being filled again just that little bit more. It heightens the sensations that ripple through him as he moves his hips experimentally, hands sinking into Hiwan's hair and pulling his face closer to his own. So he can see him, watch him as they rediscover one another after so long.

 

.

 

Hiwan's hips are already aiming towards their joint goal, and the feeling of Hyuntak around him feels just as warm and new and satisfying as the first time they did this. If not, slightly more - given the way they both felt about each other at this current moment. It added so much for Hiwan, and he hoped Hyuntak grasped that too. He keeps the thrusting of his hips to a steady pace, which falters occasionally and especially when Hyuntak pulls his face close. He doesn't move to kiss him, simply rests their foreheads against one another's as he lets all of the feelings wash over him. His stomach is already jumping with each thrust, hyper aware of what he truly wants, but more eager to give them more of this first.    
  
His hands fall to rest either side of Hyuntak's body, knees still bent slightly to give him a better angle. It helps, that Hyuntak's hips are still lifted off the bed. "You're still so good, Hyuntak. You feel so good."

 

.

 

Hyuntak swallows his words, figures telling him that  _ of course I do, why wouldn't I _ doesn't really fit the mood they've unwittingly fallen into. Or perhaps it's that Hyuntak simply doesn't know how to word that in a way that would seamlessly fit into what they are doing now. It's strange, biting his tongue for the sake of some kind of moment. So is the fact that they're fucking and Hyuntak still has enough space in his head to accommodate and spare some consideration for the wellbeing of the  _ atmosphere _ they have built.    
  
He gets a bit pissy over it, (the kind of pissy that makes a subtle pout frame the soft moans escaping his mouth), but capturing Hiwan's bottom lip between his teeth is enough to make the feeling wash away, replaced by a hungrier urge. A more familiar face. His teeth release their hold to afford Hyuntak the chance of kissing Hiwan fully, his tongue unabashed in seeking out the heat of Hiwan's mouth.    
  
One of his legs drape over the small of Hiwan's back as he pulls his tongue from his mouth and effectively ends what started as a kiss and gradually shifted into something that could barely be described as one. With a languid, filthy, seeking tongue and the gentle humming Hyuntak felt under his skin dialing up to vibrations, calling out for one thing.    
  
"Fuck me the way I deserve it, Hiwan," he whispers, choking out a moan as his hips went against the pace they had fallen into. "Like you promised."

 

.

 

So he does. Hiwan takes the feel of Hyuntak's tongue against his own, the way it's barely a kiss but still makes Hiwan feel as raw as if it were. The way Hyuntak goes against the steady pace he's set is enough to make him groan out, almost desperate to have the movements as out of place as that.    
  
Hiwan takes a moment to make himself a little more comfortable, and then his hips are working st s completely different rhythm to Hyuntak's. Faster, more angled, each thrust more desperate than the last and each one bringing a choked gasp mingled with a bitten off version of Hyuntak's name. His mouth avoids Hyuntak's, settling instead on the underside of his jaw again, kissing and nipping at the skin as he moans against the skin.

 

.

 

_ Fuck yes. Just like that. That's—fuck, you're perfect. _   
  
The words spill without his consent, but Hyuntak doesn't truly notice them. Not when his tongue is shaping to sound each letter, slurring due to his moans and the angle of a particular thrust. Not when the string of breathily spoken words mingles with the rest of the sounds of  _ them, together _ flooding the room.    
  
"Fuck, H-Hiwan," he doesn't shut up after that—can't. The floodgates vanish to let him be. His hands scramble, one gripping Hiwan's hair and the other clawing a cylindrical slope up his back from the way his middle fingers are curved.    
  
There's not enough thought put into the way he rocks his hips, erratic and fueled mostly by the desire to  _ do something again, _ trying to recreate momentary unions of their bodies that makes his back arch, leave his head awfully light, and make his swear he sees spots of light in the darkness behind his eyelids.    
  
Under every movement, every inch of his being, hiding in the shadows of every word he utters, are the only words he does not say:  _ I missed you, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much. _

 

.

 

He continues in that way because of the confirmation they Hyuntak had given him, the way his movements seem to draw such beautiful noises and words from the man below him. It sends sharp shivers down his spine, and seems to warm the pit of his stomach pleasantly. The arch of Hyuntak's back is simply perfect in adding to the sensations running through his body. They make him moan out desperately, and one of his hands balls the covers into a fist, a kind of leverage to help him continue like this. His mouth is still working under Hyuntak's jaw, sucking around the skin, nipping at it.    
  
Hiwan pulls his mouth away to bury his face in Hyuntak's neck, all of his moans melting into the dip of his shoulder.  _ You're so good. You feel so good. Fuck _ .

 

.

 

His palm rests flat against the surface of his back, pressed against the blooming, faint tracks of red he has drawn onto Hiwan's skin. There's a warmth radiating from under his hand and Hyuntak likes it almost as much as he does the relentless slide of Hiwan inside of him.    
  
But as much as he wants to hold onto that for as long as he could, he wants something else more.    
  
"Hiwan." He wants to be filled, fully. His hips jut at the thought and for a few moments, he falls out of time with Hiwan—again. Because he's been doing a terrible job keeping up with him tonight but it hasn't presented itself as too much of a downside, when a simple reminder that he finally had Hiwan this close to him again was enough to send the butterflies in his stomach spiraling out of control.    
  
His lips are dry. He doesn't have time to lick over them, a guttural noise rolling over his tongue before he gets the chance. It's fine. It can wait. The words lying in wait in his throat were more important.    
  
The fingers in his hair curl around strands of hair, tugging to ensure he had all of Hiwan's attention, that he wasn't too absorbed with in the skin he was breathing his every moan into. "I need—fuck, please. Come for me, Hiwan. Inside me and I'll—I'll be good, just.  _ Please." _

 

.

 

He's too far gone to fight against he tug of his hair, eyes falling on Hyuntak's face as he tries focus on the movement of his hips. Hyuntak needs him to come, he asked for it so nicely. Hiwan rests his forehead against Hyuntak's, lifting his knees slightly so he can hit Hyuntak at a better angle. And it's instantly too hot, it burns in the pit of his stomach and sets fire to the knot which is so horribly tight. "Ho-a _ hhh _ ." There's a breathy laugh which cuts off into a whiny groan, as he chases the release he so desperately wants and needs.    
  
The sheer thought, then, of filling Hyuntak up again for the first time in  _ ages _ . It does the job in burning away the very last strand of the rope, timed with Hyuntak's faltering hips and completely erratic movements, he lets himself go, releases all of the need and the want and the burning desire Hiwan has had for Hyuntak. He leans his head away from Hyuntak, so he can bury his face yet again as he comes, Hyuntak's name the only word he seems to know.

 

.

 

_ Yes, _ he hisses through grit teeth, hand falling from Hiwan's back and slipping between their bodies, impatience clearing its path. That same word rolls of his tongue like a practiced chant as he wraps his fingers around his own length, pumping steadily with a singular goal in mind: pushing himself over the edge while the two of them are still this close, while he can feel the evidence of Hiwan's arousal coating his walls and the shape Hiwan has carved out with his cock.    
  
It does not take very long for words to devolve into formless noise, consistent and in time with each stroke, each hurried circle his thumb attempts to draw around the head of his length.    
  
He's shamelessly thrusting up to meet the tight grip of his hand by the time his orgasm starts knocking down his down, jaw slack as his tongue tied itself around the words he couldn't quite get out, the name he could only begin to stutter and abandon once the rumbles of a moan seized his chest and escaped through his parted mouth.

 

.

 

It feels oh so perfect - everything has settled in place and he feels like he's invincible once again. His mouth is dry, throat feeling raw from his more guttural groans from before. His mouth has worked a mark into Hyuntak's neck, purposeful and a silent decision to remind Hyuntak of tonight. He's barely caught his breath when he feels Hyuntak clench around him, and he releases another groan in the shape of Hyuntak's name.    
  
He tries to avoid collapsing on top of Hyuntak, and instead slowly pulls out of the other just in time to look down and see Hyuntak meet his release. He licks his lips, breathing heavily as he sits back on his knees, hands keeping Hyuntak's thighs apart as he watches his face. "Holy fuck."

 

.

 

If it weren't for the hands on his thighs, Hyuntak might have opposed to loss of body heat radiating off of Hiwan. If it weren't for the two words that tumble from Hiwan's mouth, he might have deemed the move completely unnecessary. But as his hand begins to slow down, only stopping for his fingers to collect some of the mess he made on his own stomach, Hyuntak finds he rather likes the position he manages Hiwan will be in when he opens his eyes. Hiwan burning holes into whatever part of his body has captured his interest.    
  
Hyuntak hums at the mental painting he's created, delight my and slightly off key. Not that it matters here. The smirk that tugs at his mouth is looped and only marred by the feeling of exhaustion sinking into his bones faster than t has any right to.    
  
Hyuntak pushes his focus away from that for the time being, peering up at Hiwan through hooded eyes. "You're welcome," he breathes, sounding as thoroughly wrecked as he feels. It's beautiful. He smirk grows a size bigger at his own words and smug attitude as he makes a clear offering of his coated hand to Hiwan, two fingers gently pressing against the other's bottom lip.

 

.

 

He scoffs, but says little in relation to Hyuntak being wrong. Because he isn't, he's correct. He's very welcome, he feels very happy and content right now. He runs his tongue over his lips, glancing down at the mess on Hyuntak's stomach. He watches the others fingers as it collects some of the mess, and Hiwan thinks Hyuntak is going to do his usual selfish move of cleaning it himself. But when he doesn't, Hiwan greedily runs his tongue over the digits, sucking them into his mouth and releasing a soft moan as he does. He lifts one hand to pull the fingers away, and dips his head to clean up the remaining mess on Hyuntak's stomach. He swallows each bit, moaning in appreciation each time he does.   
  
When Hiwan glances back up at Hyuntak, his gaze falls on the reddening marks along Hyuntak's neck. He chews at his lip, moving himself to learn forwards so he can press his finger to the one placed in clear view just under his jaw. "We're gonna get in trouble." He breathes, finger training from the mark on his jaw to the one just below it on his neck. "My bad."

 

.

 

A puzzled, "Hm?" escapes him before his brain has a chance to fully catch up with the words Hiwan was saying and the places his finger was occupied with traveling over.    
  
When it finally clicks a few seconds after the fact, Hyuntak gasps, swatting Hiwan's hand away and pressing a palm flat against his neck. "Yah," Hyuntak warns, voice as close to ice as he can get it when the rest of his body is happily lounging on cloud number nine. "Did you really— _ Hiwan." _ And he's whining again because he can't even tell where the problem (problems? How fucked were they?) were sprinkled.    
  
He doesn't even know if he's covering up the issue or not, cannot even remember when the evidence could have possibly been laid. It's all a blur, a noisy and unashamedly sensual blur that threatens to make his softening cock twitch in interest and that is the last thing he needs when he's trying to be the responsible one. Never mind the fact that he was very aware that the pair of fingers that had just been graced with the greedy swivel of Hiwan's tongue were now leaving damp prints on his neck and there was a tiny part of him that found the mental image very appealing.

 

.

 

"I didn't mean to." He mumbles and it's a little sheepish. So he meant to mark Hyuntak's neck, he didn't mean to do it so high up. And he doesn't recall when he made the mark on Hyuntak's jaw. "Okay I meant to do it on your neck but the jaw was a mistake." Hiwan takes Hyuntak's hand, and places two of his fingers where the marks were positioned. He bites his lip, and then he's laughing. It's soft and breathy and he's pretty sure he's only laughing because he has no clue what else to do, what else to say. Hiwan shifts, moving so he can lay beside Hyuntak. "It's not that bad." It's a small lie, and one he can't keep up. "Okay, maybe it's not great. But like..." he trails off because there is no way to make this better. No turtlenecks are going to hide this blemish.

 

.

 

"The only way to fix it is to make it worse," is the first solution Hyuntak comes to. It is not a solution that is carefully considered, weighed, and calculated. In fact, nothing about it is serious at all. But Hyuntak would rather not think about where he would have to start fixing this minor problem that he wouldn't have any kind of problem with if it weren't for the fact that people that aren't them most certainly will.    
  
Maybe he'll call Sungki later, ask if he knows the best way to butter up Hakyoon into forgetting a problem.    
  
Until then, Hyuntak has his amazing, not so serious solution to get them both through this. He slips into his best  _ I'm being serious and stern _ face - so really, he's just trying his best Kyungwon impression. He doesn't open that drawer of probable future disappointment yet either. That would be for later, because there was always a later.    
  
"You have to make it huge, Hiwan," his explanation starts, Hyuntak winding his arm over Hiwan's waist in a way that is more comfort-seeking than reprimanding. "It has to look like a bear tried to mate me and got really distracted by my neck. Everyone buys freak accidents in the woods."

 

.

 

"The fuck would you be doing in the woods?" Hiwan is laughing again, because the sheer thought of that entire scenario is enough to tickle him. Not to mention that making those marks any bigger would only be an opening for even more questions with answers they'd have to dance around. "Yeah everyone who's an idiot." He's raising his eyebrow as he looks at Hyuntak, and it's a fond but incredulous look. "How about you just cover it with makeup." Hiwan suggests, and it seems far too anticlimactic for something Hyuntak would ever do. "I think the only person who'll care is Hakyoon. We can just work around him somehow." Hiwan shrugs.

 

.

 

"Trust you to make a mess and suck all the fun out of it," mumbles Hyuntak, more occupied with hiding his face in Hiwan's neck than spending any more time sorting out their - well, it's really Hyuntak's easily solvable problem. No one outside their group is going to immediately connect Hiwan to discoloration around his neck. Maybe he should start layering on thicker fan service when he happens to be next to Hiwan going forward - even if the attention it gets is in no way related to Hiwan's heat of the moment blunder, at least he would spend several moments suffering under the smothering blanket of Hyuntak's full attention in the company of people Hiwan wouldn't be able to kiss him around. A solid start - he'll work on it more when they get home.

 

.

 

"Nice play on words there, Moon." Hiwan snarks, arms wrapping around Hyuntak to pull him closer. His hand rubs gentle circles on Hyuntak's back, his own aches somewhat and he's sure Hyuntak has something to do with that - if he ended up murdered then Hyuntak would be the first on the list thanks to dna testing. "I know I said I was gonna fuck you into oblivion, but we have this room until twelve tomorrow, so if you're up for it then." He hums.

 

.

 

"Nice play on words, Han," he volleys, taking a moment to roll his eyes at Hiwan's comment like he hadn't done when he first uttered the words.    
  
He's not sure who he's trying to impersonate with the voice he uses but it certainly isn't Hiwan. Or maybe it was Hiwan, if his voice was heavily filtered and combined with the teasing quality in Hyuntak's own voice.    
  
Another mystery to be forgotten and buried under more important things, like Hyuntak desire to sleep. Possibly for the rest of his natural life. A perfectly normal way to enjoy a favored pastime.    
  
Hyuntak is in no way projecting when he fakes a yawn (that ends up summoning a real yawn) to increase the impact of his words and says, "I'm happy with my current state of oblivion so don't start anything."

 

.

 

Hiwan accepts it, rolls his eyes as he settles down a little more. He hates how messy he feels, but that's a problem for tomorrow. He isn't going to lose sleep over not being clean, especially when it's Hyuntak that's caused him to be messy in he first place. "Alright, you're the boss." He yawns, in return to Hyuntak's, and allows himself to relax finally, allows his body to give into the exhaustion. He sighs in relief, eyes closing as he continues to rub Hyuntak's back.

  
  



End file.
